Three Blind Mice and a Sister-In-Law

I Know ... I know

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:21:00 +0000

I know I promised.

It was a promise to me ... so does it really count if I broke it.

When I'm stressed I need to blog.

Guess what ... I'm stressed!

Did you see it coming.

I realise that in my life I need an outlet. So this is it... enjoy.

Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:02:00 +0000

I've decided to come out of hibernation and blog again.

I miss it. I don't know why I blog but that has never stopped me doing anything before.

In other news I'm finally getting a tattoo... and this bike ....

More later.

Moron Photographer at the Grand Cannon

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:50:00 +0000

The pictures explain themselves.

What is wrong with this Blog...?

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:05:00 +0000

Sometimes I wondered why I bothered starting to blog again.

I have neither the material nor the time to fill it.

The problem with being out of university and in the real world is that I have very little time to myself. This means that I just don't get time to think for myself, read papers or feel passionate about anything except getting more sleep. Plus there's very little drama in my office so there's no good gossip to report.

There's a certain liberty you have in life. You spend time with people you choose to. Sure you don't choose your workmates but lets face it, workmates hide their personalities to a certain extent.You don't get to know someone's personality unless you work closely with the person.

At university, personalities are everywhere. You have no choice but to see them; clashes are bound to occur. That provides fodder. And whilst I bagged it at the time. I really miss the personalities and the clashes. I loved hearing about people's lives, mostly because they were so different to mine. Work is boring. Everyone is like me, we get up go to work, work, work, work and then go home in time for a quick dinner, bed and then more work. I think I need a holiday.

This is evil ....

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:26:00 +0000

evil but good

Paul

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 07:47:00 +0000

Updates

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 01:41:00 +0000

Life hasn't changed much.

the fish slowly ate each other. There was a sole survivor. I would never have picked that fish to be the murderer - read: I got outsmarted by a fish;
I managed to secure a job that pays a decent wage and yet I still have only $1.80 in my bank account; not much changes
I moved house and cities and yet I still have a neighborhood crazy lady. Yesterday she tried to convince me that my kitty-cat (and all cats) should be kept inside. She was horrified that the cat could get out of the yard. Considering the gate remains open and there are massive holes in it I would have thought that would be obvious to her. The people who lived here before we (Best-Friend-With-Benefits, myself and our two lazy house mates) moved in had a Rottweiler, a Cat and a Bird. I'm wondering why the crazy lady isn't relieved.
My birdy passed away. The death appeared natural and it was 13 years old .... I'm blaming the cat anyway. Little does the cat know I plan on getting a puppy so I can watch it torment the cat; payback's a biittch
The crazy lady gave me a handbag she was about to throw out (perhaps she has seen my bank account). I accepted it out of pity but now I'm wondering how I get rid of the damn thing without insulting her - even though I would really like to annoy her so much she never speaks to me again;
A good friend of mine is in a lesbian relationship. She has been seeing her partner for about a year but hasn't told anyone about the true nature of the relationship (she has previously dated men). Her parents are blind to it - they are just happy she has an new best friend. I want her to be happy and she is the happiest I have ever seen her - for that I'm thrilled. But it says a lot about our relationship that she doesn't feel the need to truly introduce me to someone who is obviously very important in her life. I'm feeling just a little lost;
I'm no longer addicted to Red Bull - I've upgraded to stronger stuff - ROCKSTAR. Sleep is for losers.
I've decided not to try to clean up my act - I'm enjoying this act far too much. ;)
It's good to blog (get the hint Gordo)

More later ... maybe.

I can feel it coming in the air...

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 01:31:00 +0000

First post in a long time.

It's been coming for a while. I feel the need to blog.

Britney is committed; can I come too?
I've still not cleaned up my act;
I actually got a job (one that pays); and that is all I'm going to say on that topic!

Updates

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 23:16:00 +0000

My fishes are vicious little things. They are slowly destroying the tank. Today I noticed the smaller fish is missing - I have theories but nothing I can prove. Also they have managed to pull the heater off the side of the tank. Given that it's secured by two suction cups I think they have achieved a fair bit - the heater could have come off without assistance but given the missing fish I doubt it. I have theories on who is responsible but I can't prove any of them;
I've decided my GP, [Baby Botox], is no fun at all. He listens to my confessions about my lifestyle and suggests that Botox might hide the effects of that lifestyle. The problem I see is that he is supposed to look out for my best interests and one would think that would be saving my liver and my money. It upsets me that I recognise that I'm slowly killing myself yet I don't do anything about it;

The Grim Kitty

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 00:48:00 +0000

Apparently a rehabilitation centre cat has a sixth sense regarding patients about to kick the bucket. Source

Kitty sits on the patients bed and provides them with company in their final hours. Kitty is so accurate that workers have started notifying patents relatives.

Did it occur to anyone that the patients are dying of fright after the cat with the reputation of predicting death sits on their bed?

Upstanding Youth

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 04:05:00 +0000

These guys are GREAT

"Law schools run this world, yeah ...

I won't tell if you won't tell about the lies they teach"

Thanks to Anonymous Law Student for the link.

More YouTube Funnies

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 01:57:00 +0000

Reminds me of the Thai dogs that were fired for sexual harrassment.

- just on that topic. What where the dog handlers thinking? Did they think that the dogs were not going to be dogs. The handlers knew the dogs were dogs when they put the dogs to work and the handlers knew what dogs do - that's why the dogs were hired. Would it take a genius to work out that the dogs are going to stick their noses everywhere there's an interesting smell regardless of where the smell emanates?

Joke Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 21:32:00 +0000

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. To be shot
2. To be hung
3. To be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head.". Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."

For Everything Else, There's MasterCard

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:51:00 +0000

I got my tax certificate from the "job" I had last year. I paid a massive $23.12 in tax. I'm not great with anything mathematical but given that it's likely to cost me $80 to see a tax agent, I'm wondering if there is a point to putting in a return.

Hmmmm

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:51:00 +0000

Life has not been great for me lately. I'm developing allergic reactions to hypo-allergenic products and I think my drinking has caught up with me. I'm not happy about it.

My face is peeling, my feet are itchy, the insides of my cheeks are peeling, I have excema and hives on my stomach. The next stage up in my "usual" reaction cycle results in whole-body hives brought on by a reaction to washing detergent. Normally I switch detergents, walk around in very little for a few days until my reaction subsides and go on a liver cleansing program to clear the toxins from my system. When I was little Mum had to cycle through soaps and washing detergents so I didn't react and overly processed foods made me ill. I haven't had these problems for years and I had hoped that I had grown out of them. But here I am again faced with detox.

When I detox I do it seriously; I go Vegan. Normally I'd welcome being a Vegan again, but this time I'm not so sure. I'd have to give up things I've really come to depend on like alcohol, Red Bull, caffeine, salami and milk. All of which I love and I'm not sure I'd be me without.

And to top it off [Baby Botox] is yelling at me. I'm honest with him about my lifestyle. Seeing him is like confession; he knows everything about my life. He also knows that for me to start reacting like this I've been hitting it way too hard for way too long.

I have a choice to make between breaking out or going on a detox. I'm beginning to wonder if breaking out and itching is worth it.

ALCOHOLISM is my favourite -ISM

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 23:53:00 +0000

I've been working at [local law firm] for a little while now. It's supposed to be a short term thing so it defies reason why these guys act as though they actually care that I'm properly exposed to real work. When I started there I believed that they would just throw me a bone every week or so to keep me from complaining (no-one wants that). But no! They insist on giving me real work. Who would have guessed?

They have also given me an office with a fab view. This place is growing on me despite my insistence that smaller law firms are not where I want to be as I'll never make partner or rule the world. And I'm shocked they have not thrown me out given my pathetic, naive attempts at rebutting their legal arguments (read: my belligerent attitude when back-chatting and arguing against every point they make).

But the best part about my new job is that not only are they all alcoholics, a non-so-secret stash can be found in every office (including mine) but the cafe in the building is licensed and does deliveries. If there was ever a doubt in my mind that I had made the correct career choice it's gone now. Bring it on.

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 23:43:00 +0000

Big night out last night with [Red Wine and Chocolate] guy and his girl;
[Red Wine and Chocolate] guy doesn't remember anything past 8pm including the Titanium Bar, getting home or propositioning the Tranny on behalf of some poor bloke. Even though the guy had no idea what was going on;
One should not snigger, nor whisper "Please don't" when she hears a Tranny saying she/he is about to go to the ladies room;
[Overseas] girl is heading back to the land of Oz. Rumour has it she has a great job in the nearest big city. I'm thrilled for her but very jealous;
The upstairs ladies room at the Titanium Bar is fab, so are the New Zealand bouncers;
I have a new bestie. I like my new bestie. Last night she taught me how to skull Chocolate Bunnies. I've never considered large milk based cocktails skullable nor met a woman who could drink me under the table when I'm at full steam. Quite frankly I'm damned impressed. I've nicknamed her the [Dominatrix], probably best not to ask why;
We are going for a girls night out in a couple of weeks. I can't wait - it's going to get messy, the boys won't be there and at least one of us is nicknamed the [Dominatrix];
Good times. Life is great.

Paul McDermott

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 03:57:00 +0000

Frank from Distortrait.com has been kind enough to indulge me again ....

Paris Parody

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 10:20:00 +0000

... it sucks to the highest degree ....

Because the man is brilliant ....

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 09:56:00 +0000

The SideShow ABC Saturday 7:30pm

To the Person who left this on my car....

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 07:34:00 +0000

Either get a seeing eye dog or learn to use the eyes you have. I was within the lines;
You had a little car yet you parked close to the line on the drivers side. Perhaps it's not new eyes you need;
Instead of being angry at other people for parking within their car space perhaps you could take a long hard look in the mirror and go on a diet;
It's Ms Head to you and don't ask why.

I Once was Blind but Now I See....

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 09:11:00 +0000

Two years ago my eyes were blinded by the dream of something better. But I am blind no more - now I see.

Two years ago I ran away from a well paid industry for the promise of something I thought would be more interesting, less political (yes LESS political), and much much more fun. But now I know better.

After two VERY LONG days in the workforce I understand the true nature of the problem.

It was not my previous industry I hated but it was the very essence of employment that I despise - it is having to work for income that I hate.

I'm a lazy arse and just don't like having to do any work. Two years at university has spoilt me, I'm used to being a lady of leisure and quite frankly I HATE having to be up at 6 am to be at work by 8am and not getting home until 7pm. And worse than all of that is that I can't partake in my ritual nightly drinking habit as I need to be up early for work.

This leads me to the inevitable conclusion that WORK is for SUCKERS and work is not for me.

After a day of dreaming about escape I've come up with a few exit plans (they aren't great but it's been a long day):

Win the lotto; - and quickly
Inherit lots of money from a dying relative; This may require another family to adopt me.
Become a Plaintiff in a "must win" case that will require a massive damages payout; ... that could take a while
Force Best-Friend-With-Benefits to work 7 days a week ... which may make him too tired for other things...
Find a rich old guy with a heart problem, work my way into his will and ride him to death. Think Anna-Nicole without the breast implants or angry heirs but with a lot more sex (hey I might as well enjoy waiting for the heart attack to get him)
The PHD .... The PHD is taunting me ... I get to experience university life again, great coffee, Law balls, parties, cheap gym membership, I don't have to pay the government back unless I earn a wage and drinking is mandatory .... it's definitely a possibility but that 100,000 word requirement might bite.

Best friend with benefits may object to number 5 but probably not as loudly as he would object to number 4 .... I think I have a plan.....

I'll keep you posted.

New Start

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 05:32:00 +0000

I'm about to remove the old personal posts from this blog for a fresh start. So if any of you (deluded or otherwise) want a copy I suggest you take it ASAP.

And before I get inundated with email:

No - I'm not going to assist you with that. You are on your own;
No - I don't know why people would want a copy but if I don't warn people first, I'm sure I would be accused of all sorts of things;
No - I can't send you copies and personal updates. I'm doing this because I don't want you in my life anymore (Because I've seen how you treat your so called friends) and keeping contact with you would defeat the purpose;
No - you don't have a fundamental/legal/moral right to access it forever (nope, not even under the constitution and please stop misquoting law to me).
No - I am not lessening your life experience by denying you access to my old posts;
No - No - No. Whatever it is you want, I don't care, I'll make my own mind up thanks very much;
No - these points are not about you, but you can't have access to old posts either;
No - this post does not defame you, if you think it does than perhaps you should repeat Torts;
Don't send me emails threatening to sue me. Just serve me personally. If it's not issued, filed and served I am not interested.
If you don't like it, remember the little 'x' in the top right corner (I'm regretting this already).

My Lesbian Shirt

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Sat, 27 Jan 2007 07:26:00 +0000

I was informed on Thursday that I was wearing my lesbian shirt.

I don't know what it is that makes it a lesbian shirt. Perhaps it doesn't show the girls off enough (or does).

I was telling my sister that I (apparently) had a lesbian shirt and she told me that she was also told she was wearing a lesbian shirt on Thursday. Normally this would have calmed me but she was wearing a shirt I gave her.

If you're from/have been to Canada

noreply@blogger.com (Drew) — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 08:08:00 +0000

.. or you've eaten pork from Canada. Read this.